JOURNAL SUBJECT
Comms Guide
TYPE
Satirical Design
PUBLISHED
05/09/2025
JOURNAL SUBJECT
Comms Guide
CATEGORY
Design
TYPE
Satirical
PUBLISHED
05/09/2025
01 — 02
Ridiculous:Comms guide
Can you just make the logo bigger? It’s one of the most infamous client requests that is equal parts cliché, inside joke, and a strange painful truth. Therefore, Heavy Weather has decided to take that phrase and treat it like an internal brand methodology and communications guide. Because if “bigger” is what matters most, then why not lean all the way in.... Like, all the way in? We’re pleased to announce the release of our Internal Communications Guide, Make It Bigger: Comms Guide. A comprehensive document designed to standardise our creative output, streamline inefficiency, and ensure that every brand we work on meets the one true design principle that matters: Make. It. Bigger. Here are our highlights...

— 03
Directive 1:Make The Logo Bigger
Logos are the anchors of recognition but are yet too often treated as ornamental, small and polite. Directive 01 rejects this weakness outright and demands that a logo must not simply exist, it must dominate. Bigger is not a request, it is a mandate! — Logos that are small cannot be remembered.— Logos that are big cannot be ignored.— Therefore, logos must always be bigger.

— 04
Directive 2 & 3:Pastel Goth & Aggressive Beige
Directive 2 — A blend of soft nostalgia and hostile professionalism. Beneath the pastel surface lurks a gothic undertone, equal parts romance and dread. Pastel Goth Corporate is for brands that want to maintain an aura of sweetness while quietly broadcasting their dominance. Perfect for quarterly graveyard reports. Directive 3 — Beige is typically neutral, safe and forgettable. But Aggressive Beige refuses to be background noise, it’s confrontational in its blandness, a colour so insistent it becomes hostile. This shade doesn’t fade, it advances and demands your attention by pretending it doesn’t want it. Aggressive Beige is perfect for boardroom interiors, policy documents, and any environment where eye contact must feel uncomfortable yet professional.

— 05
Directive 4:Millennial Dust
Derived from compressed side hustles and unfulfilled potential, Millennial Dust is more than a colour, it’s generational sediment. Muted yet heavy, it lingers in every open-plan office and co-working space, coating surfaces with a fine layer of burnout chic. This shade captures the delicate balance between optimism and exhaustion and is the perfect embodiment of a generation that was promised something.
The Internal Comms Guide is designed to feel like the kind of forgotten handbook you’d find in a dusty office filing cabinet. Equal parts corporate bureaucracy and cult manual, where pages are distressed, guidelines are absolute, and tone is both overblown and matter-of-fact. It plays with the idea that behind every polished piece of design, there are unspoken rules and unofficial commandments. The “Make It Bigger” series is our first artefact from the Guide. Presented as design trading cards, each piece looks like an internal training tool where absurdity is codified into best practice. Distressed textures mimic wear and use whereas typography is stripped back, blunt, and authoritarian. The Internal Comms Guide will grow documenting new “principles,” exposing more ridiculous rules, and creating a strange but oddly familiar world of design logic.
The Internal Comms Guide is designed to feel like the kind of forgotten handbook you’d find in a dusty office filing cabinet. Equal parts corporate bureaucracy and cult manual, where pages are distressed, guidelines are absolute, and tone is both overblown and matter-of-fact. It plays with the idea that behind every polished piece of design, there are unspoken rules and unofficial commandments. The “Make It Bigger” series is our first artefact from the Guide. Presented as design trading cards, each piece looks like an internal training tool where absurdity is codified into best practice. Distressed textures mimic wear and use whereas typography is stripped back, blunt, and authoritarian. The Internal Comms Guide will grow documenting new “principles,” exposing more ridiculous rules, and creating a strange but oddly familiar world of design logic.

